Monday, April 2, 2007

Jews and Kangaroos.. wrestle with this one!

Its a holiday....this is my 100th post. Feel free to take the day off.....and also its Passover which brings me to Judaism which brings me to ......


Abe Coleman, Wrestler Known as Hebrew Hercules, Dies at 101 By DOUGLAS MARTIN
Published: April 2, 2007
Abe Coleman, a squat powerhouse of a professional wrestler, billed by promoters as the Hebrew Hercules and known to opponents by the two-footed kick he copied from kangaroos, died Wednesday in New York. He was 101, probably making him the oldest professional wrestler, according to wrestling publications.
. He weighed 220 pounds, stood 5 feet 3 inches and boasted moves that included the flying head butt and the airplane spin.
But his pièce de résistance was the drop kick, a still-common tactic in which a wrestler turns himself into a human missile. Coleman said he learned it from kangaroos on a 1930 trip to Australia.


According to several professional wrestling publications, he once raised Man Mountain Dean, all 465 pounds of him, over his head and slammed him. They fell through the ring to the auditorium floor.
If he raised Man Mountain Dean (above)over his head today, the papers would simply say "Jewish guy lifts average sized American over his head".


And he didn't learn the drop kick from kangaroo's, he learned it from a little known species of marsupial, the Kangajew, a true "mar-soup-ial"

, an animal which can carry chicken soup in it's pouch and keep it warm for 24 hours, delivering it to lost hikers in the Outback, kind of like Saint Bernard's do in the Alps. Jews don't have saints....this'll have to do. One rescued hiker said, "I hope it's homemade" after which the insulted KangaJew beat the shit out of him (above) saying, "I hop all this way for an insult! Of course, it's homemade"

Next up on the card, "The Protestant Pope vs. The Greek Schlomo" followed by our championship bout, "Man Mountain Mohammed vs. Uncurious George, the Human Baboon." Times have changed!









4 comments:

Steve ("Klotz" As In "Blood") said...

At 5'3", this guy would be barely large enough to stand on his tiptoes and sniff Hulk Hogan's crotch, assuming that's his idea of a good time. And if he weighed 220 pounds, odds are he had trouble putting one foot in front of the other without squeezing his balls into pancakes. Or in his case, latkas.

The other story about this guy, unreported in the official obit, is the time he wore a bright orange suit, stopped for a moment in the street, and a dog, mistaking him for a fireplug, pissed on him. The Hebrew Hercules became the Passover Pissoir. Aah the memories.

Dayngr said...

Happy 100th!

Skizzi said...

Wow 100 posts...that means i've read your drivl at least a 100 times...thanks for keeping me laughing and thinking

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