Friday, December 29, 2006

The anti-Christ wishes you Happy New Year


Should Old aquantance be forgot
And never brought to mind
He ate two pillows off the couch
And one Venetian blind

That's a joke song from the old TV show starring William Bendix called "The Life of Riley" when his neighbor Gillis reported back to Riley in song "code" ....... all because Riley was keeping an illegal goat for a friend and hid it at Gillis' house while the landlord visited.
I never forgot it and it's always the first thing that comes to mind on New Year's Eve.

A New Year dawns for us all. Seems good wishes never work, do they.

Last year we wished everybody good health for the New Year and five friends got cancer in 2006. We toasted success and I lost my job as did my talented friend Bill in the next town while my other friend Bill in Denver never even got one to lose.

So, off to another TV show...
in the spirit of
Seinfeld's George Costanza's
"do the opposite" lifestyle
where everything worked out for him.....


I wish you a year filled with diseases...elephantiasis, berry berry, polio, bird flu.Hell, start with "anal itch" and work your way through "zygotes in your pancreas",etc.

And I wish you an unsucessful year too. I hope you lose your job , your bank closes, you finally get that job at Enron, lose your pension and social security goes bankrupt.

I hope the $500 million dollar winning lottery ticket is you and your wife's birthday numbers and that's the week you forgot to buy one.

I hope your car warranty expires the day before the engine blows.

I hope on your next vacation, you're the one with a full body cavity search from the TSA, while Mustapha, reciting the death prayer from The Koran, is waved through.

I hope you hire legal immigrants as landscapers and they charge you double for a worse job.

I hope there's a orderly's strike when you go in to the hospital for your colostomy.

I hope you get that 4 hour erection from Viagra, the one they're always warning about, and your bubble explodes.

I hope Bush gets his wish and sends more troops into Iraq as a "surge" , the last surge he had being the one where his brain leaked out his ass.

Here's a great quote to end 2006 with, from an Austrian writer named Karl Kraus,"The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so that they believe they are as clever as he".

Kind of a stupid way to wish you a Happy 07, isn't it?

Glad you enjoyed my cleverness!