The US and Britain are now ranked last according to a UN survey of child welfare in 21 wealthy countries. Hearing that, the Bush administration passed an Executive Order re-naming "No Child Left behind" to "Every Child Left Behind" and declared it a success similar to the one in Iraq.
Another "Mission Accomplished".
An assistant secretary of HHS said, " ...the comparison to these other countries becomes meaningless " because the survey is flawed. He continued that the study used different standards of measurement than we do since "we eliminated all the bad stuff in ours".
Yesterday it was reported that the "new information " on Iran supplying arms to Iraq "insurgents" is two years old. More Bush-shit spouting from the long-nosers in the administration since they're presenting it as brand new. Check the transmission before you buy a used tank from these guys.
The helicopter crash in Iraq that killed a Marine captain from my town last week was called an engine malfunction until tape emerged from Al Jezeera showing it was shot down; tape they saw before they declared it an engine malfunction . A Bush official, Polly Graff, Assistant Secretary of Horseshit stated "Well, they use a different standard in their tapes than we do in ours. We see it as an engine malfunction since the engine did stop just after it got hit by the rocket.
And in major news the Presidential retreat formerly called Camp David is changing it's name to "Pleasure Island" Remember your Pinocchio...." The segment from Pleasure Island is, like much of Pinocchio, a tale of morality. The boys who are taken to the island go voluntarily with the promise of fun and unlimited freedom. While on the island, the children are encouraged to commit acts of vandalism, fight, drink alcohol, smoke cigars, and gamble - all things that good little boys are not supposed to do.
The transformation into a donkey is not instantaneous. When boys arrive on the island, they remain human for some time before showing any signs of change. The first indication is braying replacing the boy's normal laughter, followed by the growth of donkey ears and a tail. The head, and extremities come next, after which the boy is then forced into a quadrupedal stance. The final notable change is losing the ability to speak. Before the donkeys leave Pleasure Island, they are checked to make sure they have lost their ability to vocalize, which signifies they are fully transformed.
If Tony Snow starts braying...start praying! HEE HAW
