Jerusalem Based Orthodox Jews and Moslems announce
National Brotherhood Week
As Tom Lehrer once sang
But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
Abdul El Kaboom and Heshey Feinstein
will dance cheek to cheek
This past week orthodox Jewish fanatics in Jerusalem and their neighborly brethren of Fundamentalist Moslem lunatics found common ground on which they could work together finally.....hating and/ or killing Gay people.
Disturbed about the Gay Pride march in Jerusalem because up to date writings from 2200 BC say being gay is against their religions, and obviously having missed "Diversity Day" at Little MassPube's old high school, they decided to protest together on Gay Pride Day in Jerusalem, Jesus' home town, threatening extreme violence.
Taking a break from killing each other, they are now working together to inflict serious harm on others and find that common ground that brings enemies together, a step in the right direction for peace.............if you're insane!
"Well, neither of us like pork", said new Imam, Isadore Katz, "or guys getting porked ...by other guys...... heh I may use that in open mike standup next week, Shirley, write that down...... Anyway we want to work together and take the moral high ground", said Imam Katz ,as he logged in the 600% markup on the day old bagels he sells to Darfur
Newly ordained Rabbi Mustapha Abdul -el Kaliph chanted in, " With this new plan I can take Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur off from my bomb making factory. It gives me more quality time with the kids. And thats important....they blow up so fast".
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BUSH HEARS THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE!
and in Republican tradition, it says "Expletive Deleted"
That didn't take long
Faster than lentil soup runs through the intestines of The MassPube and with the finesse of a wildebeest in heat, approximately 9 seconds after the Democrats won the House ....... , the human hemorrhoid, Donald Rumsfeld, was canned as Secretary of Defense saying ,"I'd like to stay on, but ,damn it, I have to get my nails done and I just don't have the time for both. This has nothing to do with politics or those ##****## Democrats winning and coming after my head. My nails just look like shit. Look at these cuticles...Look...LOOK...I said LOOK !!!" He was immediately carted out by six 'manicurists' in white coats who reportedly heard him singing "My Way" over and over on the way out the door.
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THIS JUST IN
MASSPUBE EXCLUSIVE
Congressional Democrats announce plan to become
"power hungry, entrenched slime" ASAP
Howard Dean, Chairman of the DNC (which I believe is a 'female'' procedure) wrote in a secret memo found by MassPube Press International reporters:
"We promised the American people that we'd state our goal and why beat around the bush, no pun intended. Of course, we'd like it to be a bipartisan effort because we respect our 'child pornography enjoying, lobbyist-supporting, right wingers who hope to destroy the Constitution' Republican opponents, but they are hard to deal with.
We want to win the big one in 08 and so our main goal is to make John Kerry a Republican.............and that seems to be our first real fight with the opposition which is balking at the plan!We also intend to make the most of this for our own sake, just as they did ,cause we know someday we'll get tossed out and we only have limited time . We don't plan to listen so don't call us, we'll call you. And so, as Douglas Adams titled his book about the dolphins heading back to their home planet................ let me finish by saying, in case you haven't figured it out yet, 'so long and thanks for all the fish. "
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LITTLE MASSPUBE'S FOOTBALL SEASON ENDS WITH A 6-5 RECORD
Little MassPube's team played a great game Saturday winning 14-10 after two long TD passes and two great goal line stands gave them the victory over a very good team that had beaten them earlier.
A hubbub erupted before the game as an illegal Hispanic immigrant was arrested in the stands when he stupidly stood up and answered this question "Jose , can you see".
There were tears in our eyes as campus police took him away since the Deval Patrick immigrant amnesty program for Massachusetts doesn't start til February.
To end the season appropriately,
here again (even though he was injured all season) is
The Little MassPube Fight Song
(to the tune of the theme from Blazing Saddles)
Coach calls on Little MassPube
so the other team don't score
Coach saves him til they're winning
By 30 points or more
The coach says "Little MassPube,
go in there and defend.
Please stop the other teams runners
from coming round the end.
He plays real hard.
He plays real strong
He fills a defensive space.
And when the game is over
NOT ONE HAIR IS OUT OF PLAAAAAACE
Boolah Boolah til next week, The MassPube
