The United States is hailing the Russian space taxi starting in 2010, which, by the way, is only 3 years away.
We're going to pay Russia $719 million bucks to ride in Russian capsules and rockets as we shuttle our astronauts to the International Space Station because we'll be in-between fleets as we're retiring the old shuttles and moving to a new fleet of Orion vehicles. Remember the Orions are being built in America, the same country that gave us bad tiles and O rings on the old shuttles, the levees of New Orleans, and the current crop of easy-to explode Humvee's in Iraq.(To digress a moment, isn't it amazing that all the auto ads talk about how safe your car is for suburban driving to soccer games, but we can't equip a Humvee well enough to protect our soldiers from roadside bombs)
This Russian taxi idea beats the first idea ( an idea first put forth by noted space scientist, Ronald Dumsfeld) of standing with a sign and a bag of diapers on old satellites circling the earth with our thumb out waiting for passers-by to help out.
Russians are wary of hitch-hikers anyway ever since we started exporting our horror movies there, especially the women:Boris: He looks worry friendly. Lets pick him up.
Natasha: Babushka, are you crazy. I think he has an ax.
Boris: Dats not an ax. Its a case of Bud Light.
And when they arrived a day later, there was a bloody hook hanging from their space capsule.
Of course, like all Russian cabbies, they'll make our guys and gals sit in the back seat and be miserable the whole way. The conversation might be:Our guy: So what part of Russia are you from?
The driver: You never heard of it! Shh, I havt to concentrate.Vhere vere you goink again?
Our guy: I might have heard of it. Try me.
The driver: Taratitsoff.
Our guy: Is that near Moscow.
The driver: Why don't you shut the fuck up and let me drive!
I remember the glory days of the old space race when the headlines read "Russia Launches Artificial Moon" and nobody knew what in hell that was , but we knew we were in trouble because a 4 lb. sphere was making a beeping noise from space. President Eisenhower was really worried.
Eisenhower and then Kennedy put all our scientific know-how into our space race. Science became king. Now under the anti -science current leader of the free world, Alfred E. President, we're reduced to flagging down the Russians to hitch with them.When we build the Orion, before it leaves the showroom, I'm sure we'll have to set up financing. The Bush's are excited because The Bank of Saudi Arabia is offering 1.5% through November 2010. Lets hope we finish in time.
