The IRS , in their never ending search for truth, justice and the American pay, has said that anyone having troubles from the lingering Nor'easter due to flooding has two days extra to file their taxes. To get the two day extension, all one has to do is write "April Nor'easter" in big letters at the top of the form and the always understanding IRS will let it go without a penalty. "This is as opposed to the usual note of "F _ _ k you", says the IRS.
Two whole days, wow! I spoke to a Mrs. Vilma Fingerdoo, 84 years old, who lives on the first floor in the building to the left as she was planning to dive in to retrieve her tax return in time to avoid a penalty as the waters aren't expected to recede until 3 days after the filing date.
She dove into freezing water in her bathing suit and never made it out. The IRS plans to sue her heirs.
I then spoke to IRS (Internal Revenue Scuba) agent Mike Nelson who said, "Nor'easter, my ass! Some of these cheats 'll do anything to get an extension. That's why I'm here. Just cause their house is underwater is no excuse! I was in the Lippman household in Hampton, New Hampshire for three hours underwater just looking for a Staples receipt they were using to illegally claim "paper clips" as office supplies. Couldn't find it either even though I went with my receipt sniffing dog, Ahab. Yeah, sure, they bought paper clips, my ass!"
"Your tax dollars at work.....Ahab and Mike in training for underwater receipt sniffing at Internal Revenue Scuba training academy in Pocatello, Idaho"!
Mike and Ahab head to Saco, Maine today to retrieve returns for other tax cheats attempting to file late using minor flooding as an excuse!
