Iraq is a Civil War! Iraq is sectarian violence!
STOP...You're both right!
STOP...You're both right!
It's two-two-two wars in one!
The MassPube interviewed several dozen Iraqi corpses to see if they could help answer this "burning" semantics question: Civil War or Sectarian Violence; the greatest controversy this country has faced since the decision was made as to whether Certs was a candy mint or a breath mint.
"I vas hoppy to die in a Civil War and am glad NBC now calls it dat" said decomposing corpse/interviewee Abdul "Beauregard" Massooni, late of Baghdad, " I'm so pissed over de semantics I may svitch to NBC for good, but den I'd have to stop vatching de housewives on ABC, uncovered naked bitches dat dey are."
Waiting to be interviewed by The MassPube for this article, Ali El Kaboom takes a longer than usual dirt nap
But other views abounded. 'Civil Var?? Dots de craziest ting I ever heard. Dis is sectarian violence if ever dere vas sectarian violence", said the still smoldering, headless corpse of Muhammed "Stonewall" Mukhtahr "In fact", he continued, "If I were still alive , I'd start bombing anybody who calls it Civil War. I have my limits!"
President Bush has asked for a cease fire until we can all agree on what it is. "I'd hate to think people died in an un-winnable civil war when they could just as easily die for us in sectarian violence".
The President also said he knows all about about civil wars from his recent reading of the book, "Civil....about that girl with multiple personalities. If they just had one personality , we could win this quickly".
"I vas hoppy to die in a Civil War and am glad NBC now calls it dat" said decomposing corpse/interviewee Abdul "Beauregard" Massooni, late of Baghdad, " I'm so pissed over de semantics I may svitch to NBC for good, but den I'd have to stop vatching de housewives on ABC, uncovered naked bitches dat dey are."
Waiting to be interviewed by The MassPube for this article, Ali El Kaboom takes a longer than usual dirt napBut other views abounded. 'Civil Var?? Dots de craziest ting I ever heard. Dis is sectarian violence if ever dere vas sectarian violence", said the still smoldering, headless corpse of Muhammed "Stonewall" Mukhtahr "In fact", he continued, "If I were still alive , I'd start bombing anybody who calls it Civil War. I have my limits!"
President Bush has asked for a cease fire until we can all agree on what it is. "I'd hate to think people died in an un-winnable civil war when they could just as easily die for us in sectarian violence".
The President also said he knows all about about civil wars from his recent reading of the book, "Civil....about that girl with multiple personalities. If they just had one personality , we could win this quickly".
