Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The Super Bowl and The Axis of Evil

Of course I watched The Super Bowl. The game stunk. The Bears stunk. Even the commercials stunk this year!

But there's more to viewing than just a stupid football game!

Thankfully I settled into my La-Z-Boy at 6pm and turned on the TV in earnest. I'm happy I did..............because I got to see the pre-game "on field" show presented by Cirque D' Soliel. What an extravaganza. Acrobats, jumping somersault guys, dancers, balloon guys all in bright colors.....then they brought out two marching bands to face each other, one in Colts uniforms, the other in Bears uniforms. This went on for 25 minutes or so.

Frankly, I have only seen two shows better, more extravagant and , possibly, at greater cost, in my life:

The Brookman Bar Mitzvah in Great Neck, Long Island and


Kim Jong Il's annual birthday party in the Pyongyang Stadium.

Although the Brookman's did a great job as Billy the Bar Mitzvah boy emerged, holding the Torah, from a black, flat obelisk as apes danced around him to the tune of 'Thus Sprach Zarathrustra", after which he ceremonially killed a kosher warthog with a club for dinner.........
the best show in town is always Great Leader Kim's birthday celebration in which he enlists , well, everybody to always make the event worthwhile.

Thousands of North Koreans dance and sing on the field making incredible formations in perfect synch, even better than Riverdance does, and even the folks in the stands are enlisted as they flash placards, again in perfect synch, that , in unison, show picture and phrases honoring Great Leader. It makes Cirque D' Soliel's performance, as good as it was, seem like a Kiwanis Club Talent Show in Ashtabula.

So here's a suggestion regarding The Axis of Evil: Next year have President Kim produce the Super Bowl pre-game "on field" show. He'd love it because he loves extravaganza's and he knows how to get them right. He could print more counterfeit American money and have the North Korean acrobatic fighter jet team "The Brue Angers" fly over and drop millions of counterfeit American bucks into the stadium.
He'd be our friend forever. The border would open between South and North Korea...everybody'd applaud him and that would be that. Now the Axis of Evil wouldn't be an Axis anymore...
Iraq...well, there is no Iraq anymore
North Korea...The Super Bowl pre game show producer
and for Iran... simply invite Ahmadinejihad to become a Bar Mitzvah planner. I hear the Goldbergs in Brentwood, CA are looking!