Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Caught napping

On December 12th, in Cactus, Texas, which is right next to Armadillo Turds and Go Cowboys, Texas, about 600 miles north of the border, hundreds of immigration officers came into town, in full riot gear, raided the Swift and Co. meat packing plant and six other firms where they arrested 1282 people who they claim were illegal immigrants. If you're interested in moving to Cactus ,Texas, now's the time ....real estate is really , really cheap.

They pretty much emptied the town. At Swift, the work is described as "hard, stinky,dirty and dangerous". My bet is that few Jewish families are encouraging their first born to look into this as a profession. In the meantime, before ground is broken for the synagogue, the town is pretty much dead in the water since 75% of the residents were illegal immigrants, being paid about $11.50 an hour to work in the slaughterhouse.

Yep, that worked! Well, actually it created a whole new poltical environment giving the dis-enfranchised of Cactus an opportunity for political clout!
The new mayor, Bill the Bull (left), the town's first bovine mayor, introduced the new city council last week, a council made up entirely of cows, now that they're the only ones left in town. In their first "moo-ve", they passed a resolution which said how happy they were that immigration finally cracked down on the illegals.


We can learn from our neighbors to the south because it seems that Speedy Gonzales was right all along! A study of Greek men who took regular 30 minute midday naps were almost 40% less likely to die of a heart attack than those who didn't nap.

Few American employers will take this seriously. Even if mine did, I'd probably miss it because the meeting to talk about it would , more than likely, interupt my nap. Most American companies are just too stupid to make a change like this. However, there is one who isn't so stupid. At a company called Yarde Metals in Southington, CT, they have a nap room and last week they added a full body massage chair that incorporates aroma-therapy and motion .... and it can simulate the sounds of a babbling brook or the beach. That wouldn't work for me. I need one with fart noises and stench. When I nap, thats what I do.