Old 'Plame' haunts the Scoot-meister

CALL ME 'LEWIS'





I read that the jury had great sympathy for Lewis "Scooter" Libby, but not quite enough to exonerate him since his excuse "I forgot" didn't make sense in light of the evidence, which sadly, is what makes him guilty.

All this regarding the outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame because her husband, Joe Wilson, accused the White House gang of making up intelligence regarding the reasons to invade Iraq. They did???? I'm shocked!

Who needs a trial?

For God's sake, Libby is 60 years old and is still called "Scooter". What more evidence of guilt does one need. I had a friend named "Lipschitz " when I was a kid. We stopped calling him "Shitlips" when he turned 18. Scoots-man, to every thing there is a season. Turn, turn, turn!

And he was Cheney's chief of Staff....sounds like an honest guy to me. I can only imagine the alumni dinner at Andover five years ago: conversation best with clenched teeth....

"Air hellair, Scootsmeister, so where are you these days"
"I'm an agent for the devil"
Oh, ahv course,and how is Dickie".

Now where did we store that guillotine?

Libby was convicted of one count of obstruction, two counts of perjury , one count of lying to the FBI and one count of still being called "Scooter".

His attorney said that he was disappointed in the verdict. Of course, if you looked closely into the attorneys eyes, his eyeballs had become number counters as they clicked on upwards, like that deficit clock, counting his billable hours for the appeal. I don't think the attorney was that disappointed at all.

"Let me restate, we are very disappointed", as he realized that he could charge $3503.50 for that re-statement.

Poor widdle Scooter.....Is he a scapegoat for Dickie, Georgie and Rover. Well, Scoots, when you sleep with the pigs .........But I defend you heartily, Scootsie....while many say you aren't fit to sleep with the pigs, I say you are.

Romney of Remulak

Remember The Coneheads from the planet Remulak.... the two aliens with the pointy heads played by Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtin from Saturday Night Live. They always worried about how to explain where they're from ......and Ackroyd's "Beldar Conehead" always answered in his high tech tribble, "Tell them we're from France".


Now we have the Mitt-heads. Because Mitt "Aren't I good looking. No, really aren't I" Romney's chief "bogeyman" .....the one that he will use to appeal to the conservative crowd is ......drum roll, please..................FRANCE. Yep, that's according to his own campaign game plan.

Treacherous Gift of the BOGEY-PEOPLE shown below

In fact, just before a Conservative Republican PAC conference two weeks ago, he nervously said to Mrs. Romney "If they ask, tell them we're from Remulak. It'll play better than Massachusetts where I was just Governor, honey, really it will".

Real 'merican's don't like France because they didn't support us when President DooDooBrain decided to invade Iraq. They didn't join the Orwellian -named "Coalition of the Willing" because their intelligence service was saying our intelligence was full of crap. Boy, those French, they're really stupid, aren't they. Ahem.

In fact a Republican Congressman, another real 'merican named Robert Ney of Ohio a guy who really knows what makes the GOP tick, jumped on the anti-France bandwagon when he ordered, at the war's beginning, that the US Capitol cafeteria rename French Fries "Freedom Fries". God Bless Mr. Ney!

Sadly, Mr. Ney is currently unavailable for comment as I believe he is in prison after the Congressman pleaded guilty to taking bribes in a really big bribery case. Yes, he pleaded guilty, but I think he was set up by the French.

Hard to swallow without them freedom fries on the plate, ain't it, Bob?

As Peter Canellos put it in The Boston Globe, "It's not the French to whom Romney is condescending;he seems to think GOP primary voters have brie for brains".

Hmmmm.......Romney won the straw poll at the conservative meeting he attended . Turns out they do have brie for brains and , fyi, Remulak has announced they're planning to send a lot of delegates to the convention.

A Heartbeat Away

Dick Cheney has a blood clot in his leg. I only wish Leg Cheney had a blood clot in his dick, but you can't always get what you want, as the old refrain goes.

Bill Maher had a great line about the Taliban missing Cheney last week when they shot a rocket into the base he was visiting in Afghanistan because "it was a daylight raid and he was safely asleep in his coffin".

As much as I can't stand the crazy bastard, some people expressed sorrow that the Taliban missed him. Their bad! Who do they think they are, Ann Coulter? We elected him twice as VP and we're stuck with him til he croaks or leaves office. That's the way it goes. Maybe we should be more careful next time and try to elect someone who doesn't actually sneer when he talks.

Well, if you don't understand history, you're doomed to repeat it.

See, if you haven't noticed,Republican presidents are notorious for bad Vice Presidents.

Eisenhower gave us Richard Nixon who was so crazy he makes Cheney look like Dr. Phil.
He wound up being the only president who resigned from office ......but not before he served 5 years with his VP, Spiro T. Agnew , the corrupt Governor of Maryland, who also resigned, pleading "nolo contendre" to charges of bribery and corruption.

Then we got...........


...a nothing Senator from Indiana who who couldn't pluralize 'potato' and who gave us these brilliant quotes:
1.I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
2. I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.
3.Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
4.The future will be better tomorrow.
5.We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.
6.Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
7.What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
8.[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.
9.Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
10.One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

I'm expecting next year's Republican nominee to pick either Whitey Bulger or Schlomo the Wonder Clam.

Speaking of VP's, Tom Eagleton died two days ago. Eagleton was a four or five term Senator from Missouri and, most famously, George McGovern's Vice Presidential running mate in 1972 for about ten minutes .

He was dumped after it was discovered that he had undergone serious treatment for psychological problems, especially depression after campaigning.

Well, it was the days before Prozac. Good thing McGovern dumped him as he was worried that the American people considered him unfit for office...so we elected Agnew for another term.

Well, if you don't understand history, you're doomed to repeat it.