One of The MassPube's favorite lunatics sadly passed away two days ago. His name is Saparmurad A. Niyazov and he was the President of Turkmenistan, the oil and gas rich former Soviet republic. This is a guy who gave himself the title , according to the LA Times, of "Father of all Turkmens", not realizing he had pluralized a plural when he did it.
One of his favorite things to do as "Father of all Turkmens" was to lay down on a serving plate on Thanksgiving in the middle of the dining room table and tuck his arms up against his shoulders , stick parsley up his ass, and wait to be carved as a sacrifice to other "turks" who bit the bullet that day, as he completely misunderstood the holiday. He encouraged all male countrymen to do the same at risk of imprisonment.
President Niazov is pictured a month before his untimely death
During his reign, Niazov encouraged a personality cult. He commissioned statues and paintings of himself. His name was given to farms, a port and even a meteorite.
He ruled with an iron hand , so in his honor, I too will pluralize plurals for this obits. He changed the Turkmenistans calendar to only reflects days he thoughts were importants and ruled the country with an iron hands. His rotating statues on the downtown Ashgabat Central Squares was on tops of the "Arch of Neutrality" as they followed the suns each days, arms outraised, so the light always shined on his face.
The opposition hated him and swear to singularize everything now that he's gone. Speaking for thousand who were against the dictator, Darumrapas Vozayin, said ,"All of me hope to change his evil way."
Gas rich Turkmenistan is only ahead of The MassPube in terms of natural gas production worldwide.
One of his favorite things to do as "Father of all Turkmens" was to lay down on a serving plate on Thanksgiving in the middle of the dining room table and tuck his arms up against his shoulders , stick parsley up his ass, and wait to be carved as a sacrifice to other "turks" who bit the bullet that day, as he completely misunderstood the holiday. He encouraged all male countrymen to do the same at risk of imprisonment.
President Niazov is pictured a month before his untimely deathDuring his reign, Niazov encouraged a personality cult. He commissioned statues and paintings of himself. His name was given to farms, a port and even a meteorite.
He ruled with an iron hand , so in his honor, I too will pluralize plurals for this obits. He changed the Turkmenistans calendar to only reflects days he thoughts were importants and ruled the country with an iron hands. His rotating statues on the downtown Ashgabat Central Squares was on tops of the "Arch of Neutrality" as they followed the suns each days, arms outraised, so the light always shined on his face.
The opposition hated him and swear to singularize everything now that he's gone. Speaking for thousand who were against the dictator, Darumrapas Vozayin, said ,"All of me hope to change his evil way."
Gas rich Turkmenistan is only ahead of The MassPube in terms of natural gas production worldwide.
1 comment:
Very amusink. And where do we find you when you are not beink so funny on the internets?
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