Today's Boston Globe sports front page featured a picture of Red Sox pitcher Jonathan Papelbon strutting out to the spring training field in his red Red Sox shirt. Equally visible and in perfect contrast was a sign next to him that said "State Farm Insurance"."Auto,Life, Fire" , by the way.
On the true front page of The Globe today, there was a story about Citizens Bank buying the naming rights to a 16 field youth soccer complex in Lancaster, Massachusetts. So instead of a soccer mom taking her kid to the soccer field, she now will be taking him or her to "Citizens Bank Fields at Progin Park".
What's next? This life guard stand brought to you by Life Savers...."What's that? Can't hear you. You're sucking on an Altoid? Sorry, pal, keep screaming for help and next time, think twice about what you put in your mouth....before you swim !"Years ago a friend's synagogue in Long Island needed a new Torah. These can be very expensive especially since "Torahs R'Us" went under. ...and yes, they had to pay retail for it. They decided to have local businesses sponsor the purchase of the new Torah.
Although the new finished Torah read properly, we felt it would have been better if they really had sponsorship in the Torah so the sponsors got their money's worth, so to speak, as in " and so Moses and his the Jews walked the desert for forty years but they wouldn't have made it without buying their high quality Bierkenstock sandals from Bernstein's Shoes , 19728 Sunshine Highway in Great Neck serving the community since 1957, open six days a weeks 10-7 for your shopping convenience".
"and so the one day supply of oil lasted eight days and the Jews were saved from destruction yet again. If God hadn't stepped in, they could have called Rabinowitz Oil Supply and Furnace Repair, 24 hour service at a low monthly fee. If you've met a moil, call Rabinowitz Oil".
Here in Boston, the archdiocese is selling off everything they can to pay the zillions they have to in the child abuse scandal. Why not?......"This section of today's Mass brought to you by "For the Love of St. Peter" Petroleum Jelly, the choice of the archdiocese for years."
2 comments:
That's so funny..
We used to call it 'selling out'!
Now I think it is just called 'putting food on the table by selling your soul'!
Years ago I attended a national conference of gatroenterologist nurses. Featured among the presenting sponsors: a vendor selling Playboy ostomy bags. No shit.
(This comment brought to you by the Dennis Kucineh for President campaign, which can't afford a pot to pis in, let alone a designer ostomy bag to shit in.)
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