No wonder they call it "green" with envy

Number of Laid-Off Workers Filing Claims for Unemployment

Benefits Soars to 329,000

WASHINGTON (AP), The number of laid-off workers filing claims for unemployment benefits shot up last week to the highest level since late November. The Labor Department reported that a total of 329,000 newly unemployed workers filed applications for jobless benefits, an increase of 10,000 from the previous week.

But, not to worry because at the current New York Boat Show, they're expecting big sales of big boats in the multi million dollar range because " CEO's just got those big bonuses and they'll want to spend it", as one floor salesperson put it. Well, isn't that special?

Hell, they just gave the former and fired CEO of Home Depot over $200 million yesterday as a severance package for doing a bad job. Maybe he wants a boat to drown his sorrows...or his wife. My friend who sells yachts tells me that 90% of them never leave the dock after the purchase.

The "S.S. I fucked up at Home Depot" sets sail

It gets worse!

According to Yahoo news, Hannah Shaw Grove and Russ Alan Prince, two researchers, report "the average jet setter spends nearly $30,000 per year on alcohol (wines & spirits). Grove and Prince note that this amount is about two-thirds of the median household income in the U.S."

So, they're spending as much on booze as many people earn in a year. Whoa, that's even more than my friend Meck spends on adult diapers each year.

" Indeed", they continue," it would take a curious psychological composition to comprehend spending $147,000 a year on watches, as the jet set do. Or $117,000 on clothes. Or a whopping $248,000 a year on jewelry."

Not really......In this country we worship and follow imbeciles like Paris Hilton and they become our idols. And , if you've got it, flaunt it.

I can see a splurge on a nice watch, like for one that has a special alarm that tells you when your liver is failing.

$117,000.00 on clothes. This is good news because I probably won't see any of these gluttons at The Big Man's Shop or Marshall's next time I make a purchase. But if I do, I'll be damn sure to ask them for the time.

$248,000.00 on jewelry. This is what they spend a year on this bling bling crap. Which begs the question, how come all the winos I see (who also spend $30,000 a year on booze) are poorly dressed and barely sparkle at all, except when they light a fart.

And for those recently unemployed, The MassPube suggests that you get smart and get a job selling this stuff to the rich.

Just learn to say, with clenched teeth, "The best vintage , suh, is Chateau Fommphfomphano, 1991. I fah prefer it to Ripple and for Madame, might I suggest the " Voulez vous cochet avec mois". She'll find it stiff and enjoyable with a lingering aftertaste".