The Pentagon asked that folksinger Joan Baez not entertain the troops...which she was asked to do by John Mellenkamp at a concert he's scheduled to do.

The reason, reports MassPube War Intelligence, is not that she's anti-war, but that the word "Kumbiyah" is the new code word for "Blackhawk Down".

"It's a song too?", asked a bewildered General Peter Pace, "I had no idea.".

He then started humming "I sold my heart to the junkman" and remarked, "Stupid song, but it's stuck in my head. Why would anyone marry a trash man?"

Instead Larry the Cable Guy will sing "Where have all the flowers gone" for our wounded vets!

For his part, Mellenkamp was shocked .... and then responded, "I guess this means that Iranian President Ahmadinejihad won't be called to sing the haftorah at the upcoming Ginsburg Bar Mitzvah in Beverly Hills where I am also scheduled to entertain. I hate to rescind the invitation".