As of "Today".......

The TODAY Show this morning devoted about six minutes at the start of their 7:30 half-hour to the topic of who got thrown off of American Idol last night. FYI, I learned it was a young woman named LaKisha who got booted.
Here's a hot tidbit for the producers at Today...anyone interested would have watched "American Idol". The rest of us don't give a shit! That's not news....it's bullshit! And its not entertainment news either, because if she could entertain people, even at these standards...she wouldn't have gotten the boot! ENOUGH!!!!

In a world going nuts, and on a show where you have three hours to inform people of something....here's more news for The Today Show......I'm done. I'm out. Go hawk 1/2 stories with the end of them on your prime time news shows to some other schmuck. I've had it...and I've been watching you for years. Today, no pun intended, was it!

See, this was a day where Tony Blair said he was stepping down! That story got about the same amount of time at the 7 am hour as Ms.LaKisha got being tossed off Idol in your second half hour...LaKisha even merited discussion from your hosts, Blair did not!.

Katie Couric left TODAY in the hope she might be taken seriously , following in the footsteps of Cronkite as anchor of The CBS News. Maybe years ago, she might have been because being host of The Today Show was a prestigious job and a stepping stone for the likes of Tom Brokaw. Since Brokaw, TODAY has simply dumbed down and these days Ms. Couric's CBS ratings reap what she has sown. As of the sweeps last week, she's dead last!

So, as we dumb down everything, Jake the MassPube wanted you to know about Alpo Dog Food because Today might want to do an article on this!
On their newer ,large dog food cans, they have a big green arrow overwritten with these words, "New E-Z Open Lid". The arrow points to the top of the can.... just as though the freakin' lid might be somewhere else besides the the top of the can.

This is big. This is news. They're telling us where the lid is. Today Show...get right on it....."and we'll have the rest of the report on Dateline at 9pm tonight". Let your audience hear it from you. The lid is on the top....inquiring minds want to know!

TV news...its a dog eat dog world! Now you'll be able to open the can easier!