Mysteries of the Underworld Explained

According to Reuters,"A team of British scientists has set sail on a voyage to examine why a huge chunk of the earth's crust is missing, deep under the Atlantic Ocean -- a phenomenon that challenges conventional ideas about how the earth works."

The Earth responded, "I ain't working. I'm collecting unemployment"

One answer, as explained by the science experts of the anti-Global Warming crowd is that "the Earth is obviously on the low carb Zone diet and has decided to eliminate the crust in order to cut down on the carbs". Sadly, they never returned from their journey of exploration as their ship fell off the edge of the Earth.

What's in the hole, miles down, where you can actually see the mantle?

Truth be told, the Brits aren't the first to explore it. Looking into the hole a few years ago, MassPube Scientific Research ,with financial help from the science wing of Reverend Ted Haggard's new "Church of the Almighty Jelly Products", discovered that the hole was actually opened by the Devil ...

.....who, after years of keeping it hidden wanted to show off his mantle ...... so visitors could see the many Christmas cards he has received from Ann Coulter, James Carville and Osama Bin Laden over the years, all prominently displayed on his mantle.

"Nobody's visited until now, except for Bin Laden, who has , heh heh, 'Bin here' in the hole hiding out..", the Devil said, "Everybody always supposed he was my pal. Now they can see it for themselves, but frankly the bastard's like 'the man who came to dinner'. He won't leave. Carville always sends me a photo card but I think it's just because we look alike. And Ms. Coulter was my only match on E-Harmony, but the date didn't work out. She said I was "hot", but she was too caustic for me. I'm lonely."