Harry Flashman, President Bush and The State of the Union

Tonight is President Bush's "State of the Union " address. He'll walk into the House chamber like a male puppy wagging its tail when you take him to the vet to be neutered, with a big grin on his face as though he's not going to have his nuts cut off. And the joint Congress will welcome him basically as Rosa Parks' bus driver did in 1954, I hope.

Told by Tony Snow that he was supposed to report on the 'state' of things in his policies, the prez responded that he thought his insurance was up to date. Mr. Snow then smacked him on the head with the heaviest object he could find, a looseleaf book of anti- Bush editorials over the last two days, knocked him cold and then had a speechwriter re-write the speech.

When he awakens though, there may a glimmer of hope for us all regarding Iraq and Afghanistan, because , according to Maureen Dowd in Saturday's New York Times, Bush's newest reading list (now that he's finished My Pet Goat) amazingly includes several books starring my favorite fictional character of all time...

.......... The philandering, cowardly scoundrel and most decorated soldier, ahem, in the history of England, the one, the only Harry Flashman, anti-hero of the series of ten novels written by the great George McDonald Fraser.

I only wish Bush had read them before he sent our soldiers to both places. Besides great writing that puts a smile on your face every page in every book, Fraser's history is footnoted and dead-on accurate. Handsome Sir Harry recognizes early on the folly and bullshit of every war as they're started for God-knows-what idiotic reasons by self serving politico's .... and "Old Flashy" will be damned before he willingly gets his ass killed for no reason at all.

The folly of fighting in Afghanistan is in the first novel "Flashman" where he's pretty much the only one to survive, out of thousands of British soldiers, in Great Britain's infamous disaster in that bloody country in the 1800's. He survives mostly by

1.cowering

2. hiding under the bodies of those protecting him as they fall ,and

3. gallantly picking up a gun to kill himself rather than be tortured and ,of course, not even knowing how to use it, accidentally kills the rebel leader as the reinforcements came over the hill. To coin a phrase, Mission accomplished!

But, at least, Flashy knows he's a coward. Bush pretends he isn't. Dodging wartime service, him and his 5 deferment VP quite happily have sent our troops into their own "Charge of The Light Brigade" without understanding long term implications. He's a guy who wears a flight suit while walking under a banner that says "Mission Accomplished" when the only thing he accomplished was not throwing up in the cockpit of the jet that brought him there.

I hope that instead of sitting quietly, Congress gives him 'what for' tonight. The self deluded baboon speaks at 8pm EST tonight. Even Flashy, the world's greatest ass kisser, would vomit if he had to pretend it was meaningful!