Part 1 of 3.........
GONZALES "VOWS TO STAY" says BOSTON GLOBE HEADLINE.Jake the MassPube translates this to "I'd resign today but my confirmation has not yet come through from Travelocity regarding my post-resignation trip. Hence I'll be resigning next week, just as soon as I get seat assignments, and my letter will say how my staying on would only continue to be a drain on the important work of the US Justice Department. I am expecting The Medal of Freedom from President Bush sometime in August".
Part 2 of 3
REID SAYS "WAR IS LOST", DRAWING GOP REBUKE!
"Republicans pounced on the comment as evidence that Democrats do NOT support the troops"
Jake the MassPube explains the rebuke : This is an astounding leap of logic such as this fictional question: "Do you walk to school or carry your lunch? Aha, obviously you don't support the troops". This 'rebuke' proves that the Republicans will say and do anything to hang on, to the point (if they had had the chance) of changing into a dress to get on a Titanic lifeboat, making it to the Carpathia and saying "See, I won. I kicked the old lady off the boat because I felt she didn't support the troops".
Considering that we "lost" the war in Vietnam, this country, which cost us 50,000 lives, is now a gentle, non-aggressive country where there are tons of American products ..... and a place where Americans can visit and have a great vacation.
After we win in Iraq, should you visit there for a weekend getaway, Jake says "Bring an extra bag" since you'll probably be bringing your head back as "carry-on" on the return trip.
Part 3 of 3......
Even Jake had trouble translating this Reuters article about a trial in China:
" China jailed an Uighur-Canadian for life for separatism and terrorism....The court in Urumqi ...convicted Huseyin Celil,37, of terrorist activities......Celil, whose first name can also be spelled Huseyincan, was the second ethnic Uighur activist jailed in China this week".Jake had no idea what an Uighar is, let alone an "Uighur-Canadian" ! Uighur ,fyi, is an area in northwest China
Jake thanks Reuters for giving me the other spelling of "Huseyin".
Jakes thanks Reuters for keeping me appraised of the activities of Uighur-Canadians in China which is a topic I usually use to pick up women in bars...which goes a long way to explaining why I haven't gotten laid in two years.
SEE YA WEDNESDAY
1 comment:
Gonzo-gate will end with the little pisser's resignation "reluctantly" accepted by President Monkey Boy, who will turn around and find another loyal hack to take his place. B.F.D. As we Floridians well know: You squash one cockroach, another dozen march out from under the molding.
Besides, Gonzo isn't necessarily evil, he just suffers delusions of adequacy. The next one in might be another (Lon) Cheney or Wolf-o-Witz. Chilling thought, yes?
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